I'm off school now, but I'm actually far from excited. No details, because you don't need them. I'm free until February, which means I'll read whatever the hell I want and write whatever the hell I want until I have to slave away again. I think I'd be happier if I hadn't been woken up at ten. Ugh. ><;;

I'd be dolling right now if my mother weren't home. She's on vacation. I don't like having people home; sometimes I wonder if I should just get a job and find a place of my own. But I digress.

I'm happy it's almost December. It's been an incredibly shitty year and I can't wait until it's over.

Warning: Rant ahead. Proceed with caution.

As you can read in ~JunkyMcAvoy's journal, I watched New Moon last week. Its stupidity was overwhelming, its lack of a plot was painful, and the lack of personality of EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER was disgusting, but oh man. The girls in that movie, they're all so pretty. I have a massive crush on Kristen Stewart (she's the reason I put myself through that hell in the first place--along with the trolling of fangirls, which didn't happen :C), and Ashley Greene is just way too pretty for words. I also have a crush on Nikki Reed, but why why WHY did they have to make her blonde. WHY. The guys in that movie are all disgusting. Pattinson looks like a fucking mime with all the make up they put on him, and seeing as he's pretty repulsive without it... The other guy just creeps me out. I don't like muscle, but at least he looks nicer than discoball!sparklepire. I don't know. I'm being dragged to watch that thing again tomorrow (long story involving free tickets to the VIP theatres. And sushi), but oh god. Anything to joygasm all over Kristen. @u@

Stephenie Meyer pisses me the fuck off. I talked to ~JunkyMcAvoy about it once, and figured out the main reason why she irks me so much is her TEEHEE attitude about being published. She crapped out that massive fanfic and got published after six months, and couldn't even be bothered to make it decent, and it looks as if it's not a big deal for her at all, like she felt that thing absolutely deserved to be published. Seriously? Seriously?

Reviews of her bad joke of a book make me paranoid. People complain about her lack of character development and her use of important issues as mere plot devices. Now I'm always questioning myself. I'm wondering if the relationships between my characters are believable--because what happens with Twilight? She likes him cos he's sparkly, and he likes her because she smells good. That's it. There's not one indication of an actual relationship between the two, and this insane woman tries to sell that as TRU WUVVV. What the shit--, if you can tell they don't just like each other. I'm always wondering if you can tell it's not just lusting after each other what puts a few of my boys through hell and back, and now I'm also questioning my ability to tell a story. I know it's dumb to feel this paranoid, but I can't help it. I'd like to do things right, and I'd like to write something that actually has some meaning, and I'm not sure I'm making it right.

I joined writing.com last week, but I haven't had the balls to post anything. I'd like to get more critique, but I'm not sure I need to feel more self-conscious at the moment. I am a walking contradiction. But maybe I just need to get my confidence back. I have three months to give it some thought.

Back to that piece of shit of a movie, does anyone know why their soundtracks are full of such cool bands/musicians? Seriously, I wish they'd just stick to crap like Paramore. It was one thing for SMeyer to rape Muse up the bum, but Thom Yorke? Do thirteen year old girls who think that abusive "relationship" is romantic even know who he is? Ugh. Whatever, whatever.

I seriously love his song though. It's pretty awesome--it's not just my love for this guy speaking, I swear. Give it a listen, it's worth it: [link]

It's inspiring.

Sorry for the rant. Take care, everyone.
<3

P.S. Jesus, dA, why can't you fucking fix the broken-links-because-of-stupid-ugly-emots thing? I had to try three different links, what the shit. Fuck. >_<;